The other night it was cold and rainy and I just wanted to get into my sweatpants and watch Hulu. So I did. I was settled in bed, when along came Quagmire, my faithful dachshund. He immediately crawled under the blankets and curled up beside me. Family night.
I really can’t think of a better feeling in the world. He’s my best friend. He never judges. And he’s soft and puts out a delightful amount of body heat.
He has other amazing qualities as well. If I could find a man like Quagmire, life would be perfect. Here are some of Quagmire’s many pluses:
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He doesn’t fight over the remote control.
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If I want to go somewhere, he’s more than happy to tag along.
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He’s also cool with giving me my space.
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He makes me laugh.
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He listens. (Although his level of understanding is questionable.)
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He is very protective of me.
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He’s more than happy to clean up if I spill food.
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He doesn’t laugh at me in the morning when I’ve fallen asleep with wet hair.
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He’s an amazing snuggler.
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He rarely snores.
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He’s always happy to see me.
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He thinks I’m the best.
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He doesn’t care what I wear or weigh or look like.
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He loves a good nap as much as I do.
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He doesn’t complain.
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He can be quite charming.
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He sometimes brings me presents. Just because.
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He’s cute.
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He doesn’t take up much space.
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He enjoys kissing me. (Perhaps a bit too much.)
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He has his issues, so he’s cool with mine.
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As long as he’s fed and treated fairly, his love is unconditional.
What a guy! Now, if he’d only get a job and do half the housework.
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