The first time I saw Violet, in the Pixar movie The Incredibles, I instantly related to her. I was that girl when I was in school. I was the one with the low self-esteem, who just wanted to disappear. The only way I could do that, really, was to hide behind my hair.
I’m beginning to see that girl again when I look in the mirror. Not because my self-esteem is back to rock bottom, but because thanks to COVID-19, all the hair salons are closed. I’m beginning to look as though I’ve been raised by wolves. I’m seriously contemplating shaving my head.
I’ve known a lot of people who hide behind their hair. I have one friend with a foot-long beard, a la ZZ Top, who swears it’s just a fashion statement. But he is very reclusive and tends to keep people at arm’s length. I think that beard is one of the many walls he shelters himself behind, and it makes me very sad. He’s an amazing man, and I think he’d see a lot of positive results if he removed that barrier.
Yes, everyone should be allowed to express themselves any way that they want. I’m not hair shaming here. And I certainly don’t mean to trod upon your cultural beliefs. I’m just speaking from personal experience. Your situation may not be the same, and if it isn’t, more power to you. But if you think your hair might be a wall, consider tearing it down, or pulling it back or putting it up at the very least.
Come out, come out. I know you’re in there somewhere.

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