The View from a Drawbridge

The random musings of a bridgetender with entirely too much time on her hands.

If ever there was a post that revealed how random my musings can be, it’s this one. I was sitting at my desk, wondering what to blog about, while nibbling on a Fig Newton when… wait. Fig Newtons. Why did anyone think that Newton was the perfect name for this cookie? My apologies to Newtons everywhere, but it isn’t exactly a cool or cutting edge name. So off I went to get to the bottom of this mystery.

I didn’t have to go far. Wikipedia, that font of all human knowledge, revealed to me that they were named after Newton, Massachusetts, where they were first made. Apparently, there’s a common misconception that it was named after Sir Isaac Newton, but Wikipedia sets you straight on that theory, so don’t get it twisted.

Also, it seems that the term Newton has been trademarked by Nabisco. If you have ever eaten a non-Nabisco Newton, you’ve been had. Sorry.

Historically, doctors used to think that it was important that one had a daily dose of pastry and fruit, and to that end, a guy named Charlse Roser patented a machine that could mass produce Fig Newtons in 1891. And, in case you were out of the loop, it seems that Nabisco officially dropped “fig” from the name in 2012. Now they’re just Newtons. That way they can fill them with God-knows-what.

But the Wikipedia article did not answer the question that was burning in my mind. If you are from Newton, Massachusetts, home of the Fig Newton, what’s your high school mascot? (Surely you didn’t think I’d leave you hanging.) The answer is, if you go to Newton North High School, you are the lions. If you go to Newton South High School, your mascot is, oddly enough, also the lions, but your school colors are slightly different.

Go figure. But am I alone in being a bit disappointed? I think this shows a distinct lack of imagination on their part. You ain’t seen nothin’ like the mighty figs!

Like the way my weird mind works? Then you’ll enjoy my book! http://amzn.to/2mlPVh5

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