So many people get caught up in the process of things. It’s like watching someone clinging to the center of an out of control fire hose. They’re whipping back and forth in the air with it, hoping that eventually they’ll get the jet of water pointed in the direction they want it to go. They think that once that happens, all will be well.
Wouldn’t it be better to aim the nozzle first, and then turn on the water? In other words, figure out what you want to achieve, and then do the things that will make that achievement much more likely. It’s called reverse engineering, and it can apply to a whole host of situations. I’ll give you two examples.
The first one relates to finding a life partner. Rather than go to random places and hope Mr. or Ms. Right will miraculously stumble upon you there, put a great deal of thought into the type of person you would like to have in your life. In an ideal world, what would their values and interests be? If you want someone who shares your passion for fitness, for example, you will be much more likely to find that person in a gym than you will in a doughnut shop. To me that seems like common sense, but I’m constantly amazed at how many people bemoan the fact that their partner turned out to be an alcoholic when they met them at a bar in the first place.
Example number two relates to career choices. When I was in college, I heard so many of my peers say that they chose their majors based on what would make them the most money, or what their parents pressured them into. It always made me feel slightly ill when I contemplated their futures. Money doesn’t buy you happiness, and mom and dad will be long gone and you still may be slogging away as the lawyer you never wanted to be.
According to this article, the average person spends 90,000 hours at work over the course of their lives. That’s an awful lot of time to be miserable if you haven’t reverse engineered your career choice. The happiest people are the ones who are doing things that they love. It’s important to figure out what matters to you, what you’re passionate about, what holds your interest, and only then can you figure out the type of job that will allow you to best bring those qualities into your life.
I know, it’s not as easy as it sounds. Most of us aren’t that introspective or self-aware. We’re way too fixated on clinging to that out of control fire hose. But there are tools out there that can help you focus. One of the best ones I’ve found is the book What Color is Your Parachute? by Richard N. Bolles. It helps you figure out what matters to you and then, from there, you can determine what career path to focus on.
What I’m trying to say is figure out the goal, in minute detail. Only then can you determine the best way to achieve it. Any other process, in my experience, just results in a massive waste of your time. And life’s too short for that.
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