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A Hitch in My Giddy-Up
Yep. I’m getting old. I have slight arthritis in my hips, and some mornings it feels as though they’re not going to support my weight for a few seconds there. Rather than a morning smoker’s hack (the sound of my mother’s made me a nonsmoker for life), I have a morning hobble and groan. I’ve…
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Outgrowing
As a child, one of the hardest things for me was the experience of outgrowing things that I loved. Favorite sweaters. Child-sized furniture. Extremely sugary foods. Certain rides at the state fair. The kid’s menu at Howard Johnson’s. No one likes change. And if I loved something, I couldn’t understand why I couldn’t love it…
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Own Your Fifty
Ever since I entered my 50’s I’ve had many people say to me, “Don’t worry, fifty is the new thirty.” As if I needed comforting or something. As if it is preferable to live in a state of denial. Here’s the thing (yes, yes, there’s always a thing): I don’t want to be thirty. I…
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Life Begins at 50
I’ve spent much of my life fearing the passage of time. I wasn’t obsessed with the topic, but I didn’t want to get older, that was for sure. What a waste of energy that fear was. First of all, aging is inevitable. All the plastic surgery and vitamins and exercise in the world isn’t going…
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The Laws of Attraction
Just a few minutes ago I saw a gorgeous man, and I thought, “Yummy.” But then came the inevitable realization that I’m old enough to be his mother. I guess I always assumed that as I aged, my taste in men would age, too. Well… yes and no. In terms of pure physical attraction, is…
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No Joy in Plumpville
I went shopping for a bathing suit the other day, and to my horror I discovered that I’ve finally reached a size where all suits come with little skirts. Even I have to admit that it looks better that way, but it’s official: society no longer wishes to gaze upon my thighs. Ah well. It…
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Good Old Dog
Have you ever noticed that dogs don’t slowly age? The transition always seems to be startlingly abrupt. One day they’re zooming around the yard, chasing squirrels, and the next day it’s as if they’ve been beaten with the aging stick overnight. That’s what appears to have happened to my dog Devo this past month. Once…
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“Friends Make the Best Lovers.”
A friend of mine, in her late 70’s, said that to me the other day. My first inward reaction was shock. I mean… she’s old. She shouldn’t be thinking like that! But the older I get, the more I realize what a crazy notion that is. Why do we think that age turns one into…
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Don’t You Know Me?
I had the most distressing phone conversation the other day. I try to call my favorite aunt, who is 85 years old and lives in Connecticut, about once every two weeks. Her health is not good. She’s in constant pain, but she has a killer sense of humor and her mind is sharp as a…