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Asking Questions (And Also Answering Them) While Autistic
I once sent a boss into a blind rage when he ended a statement with the phrase, “Am I right?” and I said no.
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I Should Be Smiling
I had to tell my face what to do.
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Barb’s Bad Trip, or The Importance of Researching Drug Interactions
I had been stoned out of my mind for two weeks.
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Mojibake
Character transformation. What a concept.
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A Fever of Stingrays
I just heard on the radio that a group of stingrays is called a “fever”. I don’t know why, but that just makes me really happy. I love how creative our language can be. But it makes you wonder, who got to decide the “official” name for each grouping of animals? Was it a person?…
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Proportion
I recently got screamed at for leaving a fingerprint on a microwave. It rendered me speechless. I am always shocked when people react all out of proportion to a situation. I mean, it’s a fingerprint, not toxic waste. It took me less than a second to wipe it off. And that whole time, the world…
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Off-Kilter
The alarm rang this morning, and while I would have rather slept in, I did feel unusually rested for a work day. My dogs were looking at me rather strangely, but I chalked that up to their usual desire to be fed NOW. After doing just that, I started in on the rest of my…
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Sympathy vs. Empathy
The other day I witnessed something awful. I was working on the Fremont Bridge here in Seattle. It’s 30 feet off the water. Right next to it is the Aurora Bridge, which is 170 feet off the water. Before they put up the higher railing on the Aurora Bridge, the only bridge in the world…
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Don’t You Know Me?
I had the most distressing phone conversation the other day. I try to call my favorite aunt, who is 85 years old and lives in Connecticut, about once every two weeks. Her health is not good. She’s in constant pain, but she has a killer sense of humor and her mind is sharp as a…
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Are you @#%&!^+ KIDDING me???
I was just watching the movie Pretty Woman, and in it, Richard Gere as Edward Lewis says, “It’s just that, uh, very few people surprise me.” Julia Roberts as Vivian Ward replies, “Yeah, well, you’re lucky. Most of ‘em shock the hell outta me.” I’m with Vivian. It seems that I walk around in this…