The View from a Drawbridge

Tag: Humor

  • True Style

    The best thing about growing up in the 70s is that once you’ve worn hip hugging light green polyester bell bottoms with little lavender flowers, nothing else in life can possibly make you feel self-conscious. I also had platform shoes, hot pants, halters, Danskin Leotards, HUGE glasses, lots of plaid and full-on disco gear. Heaven…

  • I’m Going Slightly Mad

    I’ve got another cold. I’m feverish, and I suspect I’m hallucinating, so I apologize in advance for whatever I write today. Combine that with the fact that I’ve been looking at a summary of the search terms that people have used to find my blog, and having quite a giggle over that. Why did the…

  • My 100th Blog Entry

    All distances in the Byzantine Empire were once measured from this original milestone, located in Istanbul (Constantinople back then). I’ve stood beside this very important yet inconsequential looking stone as hundreds of people walked by it, probably not realizing its significance. I was thinking about this stone today as I’ve arrived at an important milestone…

  • Poor Chifferobe, Bless Her Heart

    So my boss calls me and says he needs me to work on the drawbridge from midnight to 8 a.m., which believe it or not is great news, because I sure could use the money. But since I’m the resident floater who can be called in at a moment’s notice to work any day, any…

  • Trapped on the Washing Machine in a Powder Blue Tux

    “You know, midgets are because humans used to breed with trolls.” These words of wisdom were issuing forth from my coworker, “C”. I wish I could say that I was shocked, but after years of working with this guy, nothing could surprise me anymore. There was no point in trying to explain that trolls are…

  • Security Guard Blues

    Times being what they are, I was feeling the need to expand my career skills, and Security Guard work seemed the way to go. As the economy gets worse, crime goes up. As crime goes up, there’s more need for security. That was my thinking, anyway. Here in Florida, even unarmed guards must take a…

  • Why are Characters Drawn to Drawbridges?

    The other day I was walking up the bridge to work and I saw the Barking Man. I immediately slowed my pace to assess the situation. The Barking Man is a guy who likes to fish off the bridge on mild evenings. When he’s on his medication he’s quite friendly, and we’ll exchange pleasantries. When…

  • Reality Based Children’s Books

    The other day I watched a brief video of a Children’s book that was narrated by Samuel L Jackson. It’s called “Go the F**k to Sleep”. I don’t know what made me laugh harder: the actual book, which was surely written more for the entertainment of adults, or the fact that we have reached a…

  • Dog Wisdom

    I had just settled down to write this blog entry, and was feeling rather stressed out because I couldn’t think of a topic, when my dog brought me his toy. It is Blue’s philosophy that no one should ever be too busy for a rousing game of tug-o-sock. How right he is. Once we have…

  • Why I am Child Free

    At the moment I’m taking care of a child. I love him to pieces, but I swear there are moments when I’d like to dump him on his parent’s front porch like a flaming bag of dog poo, ring the doorbell and drive away quickly. He whines. He complains. He doesn’t listen. He gets cranky.…