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Every Step Counts
Several months ago, my sister gave me a pedometer. It kind of hurt my feelings. I already know I’m fat. But her skinny little butt had a point. I’m a sedentary person. My job doesn’t help. Trying to get a bridgetender off his or her behind is like trying to shift a very large rock…
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Confession: I Can be a Sick Puppy.
No, I don’t pull the wings off flies or flash people from under a trench coat, but apparently I AM the only human being willing to admit that, yes, I DO slow down to look at traffic accidents. So feel free to blame me for every traffic jam you’ve been in since about 1970. I…
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Laughing, here…
I was cleaning out old files in my computer, and came across this conversation I had with an old friend with whom I’ve lost touch. The writing isn’t mine, per se, in fact it’s rather poorly written, but I think this is too hilarious not to share. It makes me laugh until I cry every…
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Life is Like a Bowl of Pho
First of all, if you’ve never had pho, that Vietnamese delicacy, the soup of soups, the comfort food of all time, then stop reading this right now and go get some. Drive for 4 hours if you need to. Slap your mama if she stands in your way. Seriously. What are you waiting for? Go!…
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Doomsday Postponed: The Antidote for All This Holiday Cheer
Well we survived the Mayan Apocalypse. Whew! What a load off the shoulders of all those doomsday preppers out there. Or is it? I mean, once you get past the feeling of being a total fool, what do you do for fun? Here’s the thing, people: the end of the world has apparently been coming…
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Your Body is Smarter than You Are
When I woke up from the anesthesia, my doctor was staring at me in awe. He said, “I’ve removed at least 1000 appendixes (appendices?) in my career, and yours was at least 3 times longer than the longest one I’ve ever seen.” I’m convinced that to this day he has it in a jar somewhere.…
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Joke Theory
A sense of humor is a very personal thing. What I find funny may not amuse you in the slightest, and what you find funny could downright offend me. There is also a time and a place for jokes. If you tell a joke at a party where everyone has had a few drinks and…