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The Majority Minority
The other day I was listening to an interview on National Public Radio. The woman who was speaking was a refugee from Yemen who had to flee that country under a hail of bullets, and had lost everything she ever had. She was discussing how hard it had been to get out of the country,…
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More Money Than Sense
As a bridgetender, I often observe people in million dollar vessels doing the most idiotic things you can imagine. First of all, the price of the vessel seems to be directly proportionate to the lack of safety equipment on board. Rich people don’t seem to believe in marine radios or horns. They simply assume people…
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Crazy Bicyclists
The first thing most people think of when you mention Seattle is rain. Because of that, I was really taken by surprise at the number of people who ride bicycles in this town. Thousands of bikes cross my drawbridge every single day, rain or shine, cold weather or mild. You have to admire their determination,…
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Tractor Mentality
When I was 12 years old I was growing up in a semi-rural, semi-farming community, and one of the classes they insisted we take in school was agriculture. I vaguely remember having to identify various breeds of cow, and planting trees as a community project. It was the 70’s. Times were simpler. And Florida schools…
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The Psychic Parent
Every good parent has a sort of psychic ability. You know, the eyes in the back of your head thing. If your child isn’t where he or she is supposed to be, or is doing something wrong, you sense it. Somehow you’re just tuned in to your child’s frequency. Notice I said “good” parent, though.…
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Cop-ophobia
Growing up, I was taught that policemen were your friends. If you got lost, find the nearest police officer. He would help you. As law-abiding as I always have been, I assumed that all cops were Officer Friendly, and I maintained that view until I was 18 years old. So imagine my shock as an…
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Potentially Hazardous
If I were a package, the post office would refuse to mail me. I should be encased head to toe in bubble wrap and surrounded by bright yellow caution tape. Seriously. I’m a danger to myself. As if it weren’t bad enough that I have a brace on my arm due to a recent bad…
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Sleepy in Seattle
In Florida, my whole life revolved around the desperate pursuit of sleep, and I was lucky if I got 5 hours of it a day. I was in a perpetual mental fog, and it was affecting my health, both mental and physical. Granted, this probably was caused by my 13 years of working on the…
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Shield Man
Not far from one of the bridges where I work is an abandoned building covered with graffiti. A homeless guy is squatting in one of the sheds on the property. He likes to carry a bright pink shield that he seems to have fashioned out of scrap wood, duct tape and a plastic bag. He…
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Sleazy Little Punk
At a time when I can ill afford it, I’m going to have to go buy a locked mailbox. The other day I opened mine to find a bunch of bills I had left for the postman had been ripped open, wadded up, and thrown back in the box. Nice. And then I started calling…