Tag: stepfather

  • UN-Fishing

    I’m an introvert. I like peace and quiet. Alone is my natural state. I also love nature. The wind in the trees, the smell of dirt, the bugs, the very flora and fauna of it all. It grounds me. You’d think I’d love fishing. I probably would, but for the fact that my stepfather loved…

  • On Being Let Down

    I’ve been cranky lately. Grumpy. Impatient. Out of sorts. It all started when it finally dawned on me, at the age of 51, that my sexually abusive stepfather had started grooming me for his pedophilia at the age of 7. The hard core abuse didn’t start until I was 11. Not that that’s an excuse.…

  • “Whine, whine, whine!”

    I can still hear my stepfather’s voice in my head, clear as a bell. Whenever I got upset about something when I was little, that’s what he’d say. It would infuriate me. I didn’t have the words to express it at the time, but what it said to me was, “I don’t care about your…

  • Apple Butter

    I once asked my mother why on earth she married my stepfather, a man she never really loved, who caused untold amounts of destruction in our lives and was destined to have a negative impact on me long after his death, and she said, “It seemed like a good idea at the time.” Don’t all…

  • Views from my Windows—Part Two

    For the beginning of this story, check out part one. No matter our circumstances, my mother never let it be a question in my mind that I’d be pursuing higher education. She wanted more for me than she ever had herself. I got scholarships and loans and grants and she helped me as much as…

  • Views from my Windows—Part One

    One of my first memories of any type of view was the sagging wooden third floor balcony of our shabby tenement apartment. I lived in fear of this view, because every time I stepped out of the house it was a certainty that our neighbor would be lying in wait. She was this loud old…